Vianney Miranda Rivera

Vianney’s Poems

• Forgive & Regret

  They say to forgive and forget 

  But I just think that’s a load of bs 

  Because I’m still so full of regret

  I’ve tried so hard to take it day by day 

  But honestly I just want to run away

  Because I’ll forgive you

  But I can never forget the way you made me feel

  That feeling cut so deep inside of me 

  It felt so surreal

  To the point where

  I couldn’t eat 

  Couldn’t sleep

  Couldn’t think 

  Couldn’t even breathe 

  Because how do you forgive someone from making you feel so weak 

  So yes I did forgive you, but I don’t know why 

  I know I forgive too easily 

  But I will never forget how much you made me cry 

  Yes we’re supposedly friends now, but how do you stay friends with the first boy you thought you loved 

  With the first boy who made you feel like you were enough 

  How do you forgive someone that lied straight to your face 

  And made your heart break 

  I don’t know how, but I did

  And I don’t know why

  And I regret it

  I hate how I just let you back in my life

  I hate that I actually understood it from your point of view 

  I hate how I actually believed you and your excuses 

  I hate how moved on so quickly to the next girl

  And I hate that I don’t even hate you

  It’s been about six months and I still don’t know why you live rent free in my mind 

  I’ve prayed so much to be happy without you

  But for some odd reason I can’t live without you

  I don’t know why I still want you in my life

  You’re like some parasite 

  And I can’t get rid of you no matter how hard I try

  So I’m done trying 

  I know you’ll always live in my mind

  But for now you’re just a memory

  A memory that was once mine

  A memory that was really nice 

  Even if it ended badly 

  It’s a memory I know I will cherish till the end of time 

  I know I can never get rid of it

  So I must learn how to live with it 

• I Don't Care

  I don’t care anymore

  Is what I constantly have to tell myself

  I say it so much so that one day I'll believe it’s true

  That I wont care anymore about you

  That I’ll stop thinking about that day that you left

  How I was so obsessed 

  Over a boy who didn’t even care about me as much I did him 

  Some say I’m probably overreacting

  And honestly they’re probably right 

  I feel like I’m out of my mind 

  Over someone who could treat me like I’m everything to them and act like a complete stranger to me the next day 

  How they can walk by as if they don’t even know me 

  As if we didn’t talk every single day

  How can you act like nothing ever happened

  How can you leave so easily so unbothered by it 

  Was it even real

  Or am I just making a big deal 

  But it’s okay I don’t care 

  I don’t care about how you once looked at me eyes full of love

  Now you look at me like I’m a stranger 

  Just someone you had to get rid of

  It’s so embarrassing how I care so much about things I love

  How it’s never enough

  How to him I was just another girl 

  But to me he was my everything

  But it’s okay

  I don’t care 

  I know I know I sound crazy 

  I over love I overthink I overdo everything

  Maybe I’m just attached 

  To something that’s just holding me back

  I know it seems strange to care so much about someone I didn’t even date 

  But I swear it felt like it fate 

  Like we were soulmates

  But I guess in the end it was all just fake

  I guess I cared too much about something 

  When really it was nothing 

  But there’s just so much I have to say

  About how I feel so betrayed 

  But it’s okay

  I don’t care 

  I don’t care 

  I don’t care at all about the way you left things

  About how you changed so quickly 

  About how I saw this side of you I didn’t know was there 

  Made me feel so unaware 

  But I don’t care 

  I don’t care about how you made me feel so loved

  so safe 

  about how you can’t even look me in the face

  I don’t care about how you complimented my eyes  

  The same ones that I now use to cry

  The same ones you looked straight at and lied 

  The same ones you turned away from to go to someone else’s

  I don’t care about how you act so distant 

  How you called me “my love” 

  And how you act like I’m nonexistent 

  Because of course in the end I was never enough 

  But I don’t care 

  I don’t care 

  Is what I constantly have to tell myself

  I say it so much so that one day I’ll believe its true 

  But I can’t change the way I feel about you

  So I don’t care anymore

  At least not like I used to.